Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Dog Vince Continues to Embarrass Himself. And Me.

The mistress prefers the trail that goes past Vince's house. Every time we go past, I hold my breath, hoping he won't be out with his master on his leash. Thankfully, he's been inside his den when we pass.

Except for today. He wasn't out for his walk, but he was in his back territory. He smelled me walking past, and he stuck his big ugly face under his fence (or what of it he could fit) and whined. He kept whining and whining until I could bear the incessant noise no longer and walked over to return his sniff.

How he carried on is unbecoming to any dignified beast. You would think I brought him a rawhide chew with some of the flesh still intact. He really must get over me. It does him no good to get worked up in such a way for nothing.

Also, it has come to my attention that a great many humans in my new home area ride bicycles while clad in those skin-tight shiny suits. It surprises me that the big cat creature hasn't hunted them down and killed them by now. If I was an extra-large predator capable of hunting and eating humans, I would pick those. I bet they have a nice bite to them, like a sausage casing.

I like sausage. I like rabbits, too, so I guess I understand the cat creature choosing to eat them as well.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Why Is Master Missing?

Greetings, Humans.

I am sad today.

I have been sad for two whole days.

Master is missing.

I am dreadfully worried. He left the home den very early one day, before the sun had risen. I do not know why. He did not return.

Could the giant cat creature have eaten him? I do not know when the giant cat creature hunts. I have not smelled her for many weeks now, but that doesn't mean she didn't return for a taste of my master. I wonder what he tastes like? I like the way he smells.


Mistress does not play with me like master does. She doesn't run around the food-eating place of delicious smells, making me bark with delight. She doesn't wrestle me to the ground. And the human puppies are too small to play with in such a manner. Only master.

I will not be happy again until master walks through the door.